It is an awesome thought. If God is in this life struggle and this life struggle has something to do with the God-life in me, then it is to be dealt with reverently, thought through gently, handled honestly, and lived through trustingly. Then the flailing will cease. Then the despair will dissolve. Then the bitterness can ebb. It is not that God is in this awful thing, treating us like mice in cages and tweaking our tails with glee. No, it is that we are in God. We are safe and loved and wrapped round with the Divine. What can really harm us? What can be taken away that will leave us bereft? What can rob us of life once we decide to live in the heart of God? –Joan Chittister
Today, as in other days past I am both challenged and comforted by this idea that Mechtild of Magdeburg seemed so sure of all those hundreds of years ago. Seeing God in all things and all things in God…
Last week my husband and I found out that his role, his job, would be eliminated in yet another reorganization of the ginormous company he works for. This morning it was announced in a room filled with his peers and bosses. He is living it real time. I am living it vicariously. And I am both asking and answering the question: Where is God in this?
Where is God in the disregard to his (my husband’s) loyalty and dedication? Where is God in the lack of compassion of this decision? Where is God in the pursuit of more and more material gain at the expense of so many?
It feels at first, and, truthfully often times in the midst of this, that God is hiding. I wallow for a bit entertaining the idea that we have been abandoned here to fend for ourselves in the doubt and worry and sorrow. It feels pretty rotten to let this defeat sink in, that we have moved for nothing, that we will soon have to move again. It feels pretty rotten to watch my husband suffer this blow to his self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It just feels pretty rotten.
But even as I feel this sorrow and doubt, and perhaps just as sure as Mechtild must have known it, I know that God is in the fray of all of this. God is in the muck and messiness of our life right along here with us.
God is in the stillness as we sit together, my husband and me, silently staring out at the ocean. God is in the argument we have on the walk there, me not allowing him his frustrations and feelings. God is in our stretching to understand and support one another through yet another of our life’s struggles. God is in our intention, realized or not, to live the life we have been given and not the one imagined. And God is in our hope. What can really harm us?
post note: please send prayers our way 🙂