Lone Boat by Anne Packard
From the journals of Thomas Merton:
Teach me to go to this country beyond words and beyond names.
Teach me to pray on this side of the frontier, here where these woods are.
I need to be led by you.
I need my heart to be moved by you.
I need my soul to be made clean by your prayer.
I need my will to be made strong by you.
I need the world to be saved and changed by you.
I need you for all those who suffer,
who are in prison, in danger, in sorrow.
I need you for all the crazy people.
I need your healing hands to work always in my life.
I need you to make me, as your Son, a healer, a comforter, a saviour.
I need you to name the dead.
I need you to help the dying to cross their particular rivers.
I need you for myself whether I live or die.
I need to be your monk and your son.
It is necessary.
I have been away. Does that ever happen to you? That you just go away. At first its just some minutes and hours and then it turns into days and weeks. You don’t even notice at first, you are, after all, used to wandering away for brief periods. But soon enough your heart starts to call and you look around searching for the voice and realize that you are far, far away, lost in things that are not true and real. You fill with panic and remorse and shame. Thankfully it only takes awareness and a deep breath to come back because we are so loved and we were made for union with the divine. I am so grateful for the reminder of how much I need. I borrow Merton’s words and add a few of my own.
I need to stay with You. I need to be Yours. I need You to be my anchor so my wanderings are fewer and fewer. I need You.